So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I love you. Go after that dick
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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