Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
