Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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