i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize