I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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