I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
