Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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