You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.