Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.