if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties