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Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Randomize
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