Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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