"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
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just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)