Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.