Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would fuck him just for his dog