so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
