i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize