the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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