you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize