I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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