He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
