I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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