You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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