good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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