If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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