I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
