at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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