All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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