You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh god the rape fog is back!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize