thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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