My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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