I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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