If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize