we have officially lost it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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