He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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