When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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