Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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