he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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