my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.