? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.