then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?