the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.