Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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