She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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