i think my mom watched the whole time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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