yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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