just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
not ubering you a puppy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize