I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
