Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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