Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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