Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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