No period for spring break; use this wisely.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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