every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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