Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
