He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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