So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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