I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
