I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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